I wrote this on National Best Friend Day, but is such a timeless message about friendship.
Do you have a best friend or two?
Friendship and acceptance are basic human needs written into our hearts by a loving Heavenly Father, so why is making friends so challenging? Why don’t I have more good friends?
For me, I had to stop worrying about what kinds of friends I wanted to have, and start thinking about what kind of friend I wanted to BE.I had to stop worrying about the friends I have, and think about the friend I want to BE.… Click To Tweet
Do you instantly know the friend you will tag in a glowing social media post? She will be awed by your eloquent words and laugh because she was going to post the same picture of the two of you?
Yeah, that probably won’t be me today. I wasn’t one of those girls who made a best friend in kindergarten who is still my best friend today.
In fact, I tend to make very few friends for life kind of friends. Maybe, that is partially this military life, partially my introverted nature.
Some of it is this season of young motherhood and deep parenting limits my time and energy for others. But I long for those kinds of friends.
I think about tagging my current bestie in a post, but think better of it. I’m not sure I’m her best friend, even though, without a doubt, she is mine in this season of my life.
At first, that thought hurts, the left out, ‘not good enough’ pang of rejection, but I don’t need to be her best friend for her to be mine.
Why is she my best friend?
- I can always call her, no matter the time of day.
- She is supportive, cheering me on when I am full of self-doubt.
- I can count on her to take time for me, even when her own life is boiling over.
- We don’t let trivial stuff interfere with our love for each other.
- She encourages my walk with Christ.
- When my life is falling apart, I know she’ll listen, offer to punch someone 😉 , and give me gentle advice after validating how I feel.
- She genuinely celebrates my joys and successes.
- No matter what is happening with her, she always leaves room to talk about my stuff.
- Grace comes first in all our interactions. She is honest with me when I hurt her feelings, and we work through the issues to untangle our conversations.
The number of friends I have that meet all these criteria is tiny, one hand kind of small.
Proverbs 18:24 ESV “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Sometimes, it hurts to know women in my life have passed me over for this kind of friendship, but then I realize, I’ve passed others up too. I’ve been too busy. I let small hurts or slights be a barrier instead of growing to love them. I’ve been consumed with being a wife or mom.
Today, instead of feeling rejected, I want to feel convicted.#BestFriendDay Instead of rejected, I want to feel convicted! Am I best friend material? Click To Tweet
Am I best friend material?
I want to stop worrying about how many friends I have and focus what kind of friend I am.
Proverbs 17:17 ESV “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
- Am I a friend people know they can call?
- Have I learned to let grace pepper all my interactions?
- Do I forgive small hurts and continue to seek out friendship?
- Am I encouraging and supportive?
- Have I learned to listen as much as I speak?
- Do I draw people to Christ because they see Him in me?
- Do I love them as much as I lean on them?
Deep friendships take cultivating, lots of grace and forgiveness, and two people devoted to friendship.
Instead of wondering about all the women I’ve missed, I’m going to thank God for those I have, because those small handful of ladies make me a better friend and better woman, and much better Christian.
As for National Best Friend Day, I plan to work on being the kind of friend people need, whether for a season or a lifetime.
Being used by God to love & reach people is always right where I need to be.