Adoption Made Us Family: Adoption Day

(Last Updated On: August 18, 2017)

Today is our sweet girl’s seventh Adoption Day. I keep hoping to write a piece that reflects how amazing adoption has been in my life, but I have yet to find words that do this journey justice.

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While this was originally written on National Adoption Day, it rings true for today and every day since the day we first saw her in the NICU in Texas.

All I can say is adoption made us a family.

Last fall, I was watching the new Michael Weatherly drama Bull. The episode featured a woman who went into surgery expecting to come out with her ability to carry a child restored, but had to have an emergency hysterectomy instead.

I almost couldn’t watch the episode.

My first reproductive surgery was supposed to make it possible for me to carry a child, but instead I learned that I would most likely never get pregnant and should have had a hysterectomy during that initial procedure. Less than a year later, I ended up having a total hysterectomy when I no longer could ignore how drastically it was affecting my health.

While the health benefits of the hysterectomy finally allowed me to lead a more normal life, losing my ability to ever experience pregnancy and have children was devastating. Sometimes, those emotions are still very raw.

The vision of the family I dreamed of as a young woman would never come to be.

I will never know how it feels to look at a miniature version of my husband and myself, created in our love.

Adoption doesn't erase the hurts of infertility. But is its own rainbow miracle too. Click To Tweet

Adopting doesn’t heal that specific grief.

Adopting after infertility might be similar to the experience of having a rainbow baby (a child born after a miscarriage or still birth). This new life is precious and celebrated, but doesn’t replace what was lost.

I never lost a specific child, but had my heart broken over all the images of my children I had carried in my head and heart.

But the Bull episode ended with one of the main characters walking up to the woman saying, “There is more than one way to make a family. I’m adopted and I can’t thank my parents enough for giving me a family and this life. Adoption is just another way.”

And I was crying ugly tears for no reason at all.

I tried to write a piece reflecting how amazing adoption is, but I've yet to find the words. All I can say is adoption made us a family. Happy Adoption Day!

Because adoption did make us a family.

I’ve written about how God has used adoption in my life several times.

But this year, I’m really struck by how God used adoption to make us a family. He took two people who had both had their hopes and ideas of family shattered by divorce and health issues, and God created a new family through this adoption.

It is a beautiful picture of second chances and redemption for all of us.

 

Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Despite all we did to make a mess of our lives, God’s mercies are new EVERY morning. He brought us through the adoption process so perfectly, moment by moment was orchestrated by Him.

Each of our lives were changed through adding this little girl to our family.

My husband’s boys from his first marriage have their only little sister. My husband got to have another chance to be present for the very young years that he mostly missed with his boys due to military deployments.

Adoption made us a family. It gave our dreams a second chance. #NationalAdoptionDay Click To Tweet

And I get to be a mom.

Being a mom is like the old Peace Corps slogan: The toughest job you’ll ever love.

I couldn't meet all the world's demands. I had to parent for Heaven not Harvard

There are moments I feel completely wrung out, ready to dissolve into a puddle of frustrated tears, but I can’t imagine my life without her in it. Becoming a mother fundamentally changed my perception of my place in this world, my relationship with God, and the concept of what my legacy might be.

Mom: Toughest job you'll ever LOVE! Are you up for it? #NationalAdoptionDay Click To Tweet
Last Year’s National Adoption Day wasn’t picture perfect.

We scrambled to fit in an extra school day in preparation for a trip next week. We struggled through how many dimes can you trade for 18 nickels until we were both ready to quit, cry, and just carry credit cards.

Then we raced out the door to see the Budweiser Clydesdale team. Because HORSES and 6 year old girls. Running to buy a toy for the Salvation Army toy drive, I accidentally stole a soda and had to go back to pay for it on the way home after driving 30 minutes in the dark on a low tire. My husband shot one deer in the woods today but executed another via his truck on the way home, damaging his truck and doubling the butchering this evening.

Such is life.

But this is family, doing ups and downs, working hard to challenge the chaos in this world.

It’s learning how to best love this family we chose to commit to.

And there is a reason God says we’re adopted into His kingdom as co-heirs with Jesus Christ. He sets the precedent for chosen, adopted, brotherhood.

There is something special about being chosen, being loved by daily decision, being adopted . . . because it makes us family.

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31 Replies to “Adoption Made Us Family: Adoption Day”

  1. Amen. I love how beautifully you shared your heart and God’s Word. Adoption is beautiful. It’s a picture of our relationship with Jesus and it is such a wonderful feeling to be chosen by Him. While I wasn’t adopted and have never adopted children myself, so many members of our family were, and many of my friends are only in my life because their parents reached out and brought them home.

    1. Thank you! I hope my daughter grows up knowing in her heart that she was specifically chosen for us by God. She was God’s gift to our family in many ways. I only hope that I am God’s gift back to her as well.

  2. Thank you for sharing this, I can’t imagine how much you must have been through over the years but this is such a heart-warming story and beautiful testimony of love and grace in unexpected routes.

    xXx

  3. I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your story and you heart in this post. Adoption is such a beautiful thing. I really appreciated how you tied in our Heavenly adoption. Such a beautiful illustration of the Father’s love for us! Have a great Thanksgiving!

  4. Quit, cry, and carry credit cards! LOL Welcome to Homeschooling! Wait till you get to High school Geometry. Jesus take the wheel!
    Your story hits close to home. Thank you for you honesty, openness and speaking life into the hearts of women to pursue Christ.

  5. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. Sharing the raw emotions of seeing a show that mirrored closely what happened in your own life, continues to show how God can use our pain to bring about good things. Adoption is a blessing to so many.

  6. I love it! Thank you for sharing your beautiful and honest story. I have to say, from reading previous posts, I would’ve never known your daughter was adopted. And yet that’s the beauty of it all! God made you guys into a family. Your love and fierceness as a Mom was always there even when the biological ability was gone.

    I lost my ability to bear more children and it’s hurting me now more than back then. But adoption gives me hope.

  7. This got me teary-eyed! My brother and sister-in-law are beginning their journey of trying to conceive and also plan to adopt whether then end up being able to have a child or not. My brother had cancer as a teenager and between chemo and radiation treatments doctors just don’t know what is going to happen… but then again, do they ever really anyway? God is totally in control of it all… bless your sweet family and little girl <3

  8. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s a powerful testimony that points to what God does for us. Love what you said about how family challenges the chaos in this world. That resonates with me.

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