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How to Teach your Toddler to Quit Whining: Ask Away Thursday

Children must be born with the innate knowledge that whining works and makes us crazy. Teach your toddler to quit whining!

Reader Question: How do I teach my toddler to quit whining?

Ugh, I get it! Whining just exasperates me! Children must be born with the ability to whine and the innate knowledge that it grates on mommy nerves.

My mother-in-law jokingly suggested giving them everything they want.

I know for a fact that was not her strategy with her children or mine. She is a bit more old school and tends to just tell them to knock it off, which can be fairly effective from Grandma, but not so much from mom.

But this is an age old problem. And I’m sure my solution isn’t new, but it’s what works in my house, when I use it, which is the real trick!

My strategy is to refuse to answer.

My daughter will walk into the room, “MooOOm, I want . . . “

Sweetie, mommy can’t hear whine. Are you saying something?

I keep repeating this until she quits whining and asks nicely.

The real trick is keeping consistent. Whining is one of those things that really pushes my buttons, but I’ve had to learn to set my emotions aside, and respond to her behavior.

If telling her I can’t hear her doesn’t work, I then say, “you’ll never get what you want when you whine” and model the correct attitude and tone.

I will literally repeat the correct tone and wording over and over until she repeats it my way.

Then I’ll praise her. “Good job! Now you may have . . . .”

Again, the real trick is being consistent. I was reminded of that lesson a couple of weeks ago. Read about it here. Children must be born with the innate knowledge that whining works and makes us crazy. Teach your toddler to quit whining!

Children whine because it works. Pay attention to your and your spouse’s reaction to it. You’ll be amazed at how many times you’re accidentally encouraging it.

I know we were just getting cleaned up for the day and she started whining about it. It becomes something we as moms tune out, and let it go on much longer than we think.

I had to stop trying to debate her attitude and just quash it, nope, no whining. You can choose to quit whining or we discipline. Quit whining, she sighed.

I know sometimes we get tired, worn down and we give in because in the moment it is easier, but all it takes is one moment of weakness to teach your toddler that whining works.

An ounce of painful prevention in being consistent in ignoring the whining is worth a pound of curing discipline.

An ounce of consistent prevention is worth a pound of painful curing discipline. Click To Tweet

Teaching my daughter to quit whining is still (almost 6 years old) an exercise in my personal discipline, being consistent and not negotiating with this tiny terrorist who shares my home. 😉

I need pick a strategy, work as a team with my husband, and we see the attitudes and behaviors dramatically improve.

You can do it! Choose the strategy that works for you and stick with it.

Read the other great answers from our Ask Away Thursday Tribe here.

Check out this week's installment of Ask Away Thursday - one question, LOTS of answers!

 A couple of Thursdays a month, we’ll take a reader question and each answer it from our unique perspectives.
One question - multiple perspectives. Email your questions to momstribeadvice@gmail.com… Click To Tweet

Crystal Mendez from Love More Live Blessed shares recipes, budgeting tips, crafts and fun kid stuff on her blog. She never knew blogging could be so much fun! Love More Live Blessed – Toddler Whines Day

Rachel Osborn from Don’t Call Me Supermom will be joining us with her post at Don’t Call me Supermom.

Nikki Crump is military spouse and mommy of three who blogs about motherhood, mental health and fitness from Healing Mama Remedies asked our question this week!

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Which job is right for me? Ask Away Thursday

Check out this week's installment of Ask Away Thursday - one question, LOTS of answers!

I’ve been invited to join a tribe of women bloggers in Ask Away Thursday. A couple of Thursdays a month, we’ll take a reader question and each answer it from our unique perspectives.

One question - multiple perspectives. Email your questions to momstribeadvice@gmail.com #AskAwayThursday Click To Tweet

Today’s question comes from Texas.

My husband is transitioning from his career in the military, but isn't working yet. We need a supplemental income, so we've decided that I look for work while he pursues changing career paths. We have a 5yo in kindergarten, a 3 yo and an infant. 

I've been offered two jobs. One is full-time at minimum wage at a child development center working in the infant room. I would be able to have my youngers attend the center at little cost. I would be finished working in time to pick up the kindergartner and be home in the evenings. 

Yet, the second job sounds so good for me. I would work 20 hours a week, but make more money overall. The catch is the second job is 4-8pm Monday-Friday because I would be developing an after-school program. So that would mean being gone every weeknight evening. I feel really torn between what to do. 

We need a second income but one job would be full-time and require me to pay for some child care while the second I would work only part-time hours and make more money. Is it too much to be gone every evening? My husband is a good dad, but making dinner and doing baths and bedtime every night might be a lot. What should I do?

That does sound like a difficult decision! You’re weighing lots of important values and probably feel a heavy responsibility to make the right decision for your family.

Military life is predictably unpredictable, but we do get used to not having much say in our own lives. Taking back that responsibility is a large change and will take adjusting.

Remember there is no right decision, just the best one for you and your family for today!

If a clear, God-obedient direction isn’t obvious, I have a tendency to be a list maker.

Break out the sharpies for my pro/con list! Hooray!

Before breaking out the sharpies for a pro/con list, pray for clear direction & open doors. Click To Tweet

I pray for clarity of mind, patience, and a heart focused on His will. His answers usually come pretty quickly: doors open or close, respected friends point in the same direction, con lists grow.

One question - multiple perspectives. Email your questions to momstribeadvice@gmail.com #AskAwayThursday

Secondly, I would consider the reasons for taking a job.

Is money the most crucial factor right now? Then the job that pays more and requires less out of pocket for daycare makes the most sense, especially for 20 fewer hours per week.

But taking an evening job is rough for a momma. This is where the heart gets involved for me. Working 4-8 means missing picking up the kindergartner from school, homework time, family dinners, baths and bedtime.

However, it sounds like, with the exception of the kindergartner, your family has the ability to be flexible with the family schedule at this time.

Flip-flop most of the evening activities. Give morning baths and have a large family lunch, leaving leftovers for an easy dinner. Push bedtimes back for the little ones who don’t have to be up early, so momma can come read the last story and help with prayers.

Is your husband on-board with such a drastic family renovation? Get his thoughts and perspectives. Take this chance to show you respect him and value his opinions.

As a military wife and Christian, this may be a wonderful opportunity for you and your husband to pull together, creating new roles and rules for this new civilian life that can be such a drastic change from the military.

Your husband is used to having you be his back home support (the household six), and this may give him a unique perspective on what that’s been like for you. Working together during this transition could be a tremendous blessing.

Lastly, I would carefully consider how to make sure your kindergartner gets enough mommy time. Perhaps you have breakfast together every morning, drive him to school rather than put him on a bus, have special Saturday plans one on one.

If your family stays Semper Gumby (always flexible) and you are able to work as a team, working the evening shift might not only be the best job, but also teach you both about what love looks like from the other side.

Good Luck! I’d love an update soon!

Let’s check in with the rest of the MOMs.

Moms Tribe Advice

Monica Riojas is the founder of A Mother Loving Mess, a mother of five trying to survive 😉 She writes about parenting, fun DIY’s, recipes, and more. A Mother Loving Mess – Which Job is Right?

Nikki Crump is military spouse and mommy of three who loves to blog about motherhood, mental health and fitness from Healing Mama RemediesHealing Mama Remedies – Need Help Deciding Work

Marisa Boonstra from Called to Mothering is A New Jersey native transplanted to Oklahoma, Marisa writes about her homeschool experiences, motherhood, and raising children with a biblical worldview. Called to Mothering – Need Help Deciding Work

Crystal Mendez from Love More Live Blessed shares recipes, budgeting tips, crafts and fun kid stuff on her blog. She never knew blogging could be so much fun! Love More Live Blessed – Work outside the home

and Rachel Osborn from Don’t Call Me Supermom will be joining us next time at Don’t Call Me Supermom – Ask Away Thursdays

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