3 Ways to be a Happier Mom
Do you want to be a happier mom?
Be a Mom without complaining.
Did you just laugh?
Because momming is soul sucking.
You have an MBA but just spent ten minutes arguing with a two-year-old that the strawberry jam in the squeeze bottle is exactly the same as the jar.
Cleaning house is pointless. You want a healthy, clean house for a tiny person who leaves messes in his wake like Godzilla in Tokyo.
Life is a never-ending cycle of feeding people, cleaning up after people and doing chores over and over and over. And sometimes there is poop – okay, lots of times, there is poop.
So how do we stop complaining while recognizing this is a hard season of our lives?
We recognize the struggle without unpacking and living in it!
Recognize the struggle without unpacking and living in it. #BeaHappierMom Click To Tweet1. Shift perspective
Ask God for His perspective. He always helps me look past my initial emotions to see the forest of blessings I’m missing when I complain about all the trees in my way.
Just today, I was planning our meals wondering how much fiber I should give my kid (’cause that’s what moms worry about), and I realized I have no idea. When was the last time she yelled at me – “I’m done pooping!” and expected me to race to her side? I can’t remember.
Today’s frustration or ewww factor, might just be tomorrow’s regret. She already needs me less than she did just months ago.
If I have an unfavorite task, I teach my way through it, instructing my daughter why it is important to do with a happy heart, even when we don’t feel like it, how that makes our family a team.
I’ve learned more about what kind of person I should be by focusing on what kind of person I want to raise. Also – #3 here. 
2. Always look for the bright side.
Last month, I had a leaky back tire. Instead of just $20 to fix it, the shop noticed my two front tires were cracked and ready to burst any second, $400 instead. Right before Christmas, for the second time this month . . .
BUT, I had just taken a 4 hour road trip. I was so grateful that we didn’t have a blow-out on the twisty windy Georgia back roads that could have caused a serious accident.
3. Get your worship on!
When I start to slip into an awful place, nothing shifts that attitude to happier mom faster than worshipping God. Sometimes, I have to fight myself to turn on praise music or open the Bible because my flesh would rather than sit in that pain, feeling overwhelmed and irritable.
Just do it – open the Bible and read one verse, play one random worship song. I dare you to stay crabby. It may not erase the painful circumstances, but it reminds me where my hope lies.
The last two Novembers, I’ve taken a step past daily gratitude to trying to change my entire attitude by going without complaining.
This year I felt like counting the hours until the challenge was over. November was the hardest month we’d had in a long time. Everything that could go wrong did, well almost. But December 1st came, and I didn’t want to unload all my harbored complaints.
Because I learned so much:
- I learned my faith needs testing to grow. Job, I am not.
- I learned my marriage is a million times stronger than it was before this very hard year.
- I learned I’m a happier mom when I don’t complain because what I give energy and voice to becomes my reality.
Being a happier mom means I spend less time upset, less time stressed out, less time wishing it were bedtime and more time just enjoying the moments, even the ones with poop.
18 Comments
Miranda
I tend to complain and get angry when I have a task that I don’t want to do. I love your solution of teaching through it and explaining why we should do it with a happy heart even if we don’t feel like it. Great advice, and I am going to try it tomorrow.
Jennifer
Helps me remember I’m living an example and teaching her something either way.
Jonathan Key
It’s so important to shift your perspective, look on the bright side, and focus on Jesus when you’re feeling blue. Another great post Jen!
Jennifer
It is really hard for me when the tiny struggle pile up, but if I exercise some discipline and just do these things, my mood shifts and I feel better even if my circumstances haven’t changed. Thank you!
Tara
I tweeted your quote. Love it! We always need to think about what our actions are teaching our kids.
Jennifer
They are learning more from watching how we live than what we say for sure!
Jennifer
Thank you for sharing.
Anna Harris
Great post. Thanks for being real and sharing your experience. These are great tips for anyone on remembering why we have so much to be “happy” about and not nearly as much to complain about 🙂
Jennifer
For me, mood is a snowball rolling downhill. It is going to get bigger and bigger. I have to choose quickly if it is going to be grumpiness or joy!
Danielle
A beautiful encouragement to anyone in a phase of life that is challenging! Thank you, from one non mommy who gained from your wisdom.
Melanie
Love this post! It’s so easy to get caught up in the suckiness of momming (and that should totally be a verb!) when we can get out of it so simply.
Jennifer
It is a hard thing to mother with kindness and godly focus all the time and be happy. Kids don’t make sense. They disobey at the worst times and need you the minute you try to find a second for yourself.
Marissa
I hear you on the perspective, and the worship 😉 I have also noticed on the days when I don’t get the sleep I expected – you know mommy on call night hours… – I just scratch all the extras off the list, do the just get by list and enjoy books and movies all day – no need to stress over it when mama is tired.
Marissa
Jennifer
Yes. I think I’ve been sleep deprived to the point of tears a few times. Those are movie days for sure.
Susannah
The struggle is REAL but you’re totally right – we need to be doing it all in worship!
Jennifer
I fail if I try without an attitude of worship!
Helen
Helpful tips here…I certainly find worship and praise music can change a day going badly. And it’s right, that sometimes it takes effort to do it – it’s all about being deliberate and choosing to do these things.
Jennifer
Fighting the flesh has to be deliberate.