Be Your Best Birthday Gift This Year

Do you want to know what my best birthday gift was this year? It was ME!

Let me explain.

I love my birthday. Getting one day that is all about me is my jam.

But God has really spent the last few years convicting me of how selfish this attitude can be.

Can you imagine Peter or Paul expecting a birthday gift or celebrations?

Don’t get me wrong, I still avoided most of the housework, stayed in my pajamas a long time, relished a quiet workout in the pool, and enjoyed some fun experiences with friends and family.

But I tried my best not to let my desire to enjoy my day ruin my day or my marriage.

I learned a few years ago to manage expectations. Having expectations sets us up for disappointment. Enjoy the day for what it is.

Setting up one day as the measure of how much people love or appreciate you is a recipe for disaster.

But more than that, some circumstances surrounding my birthday have made me more aware that each year of my life is God’s gift to me, and I get to choose if I am a gift to those in my life.

My being here is not an accident, God’s provision for my existence is pretty clear in the crazy story of my birth.

My birthday always reminds me that God created me with a purpose, and I’m intentionally seeking to fulfill that purpose. I want to be a blessing to those God has placed in my life.

One way is to look for ways my husband loves me well within his talents and abilities, instead of wishing for him to love me differently.

For example, my husband HATES buying gifts with a passion. I can only hypothesize as to why, but I believe a large portion of his feelings are due to not wanting to disappoint anyone.

Instead of letting this pressure to buy me a gift stress him out, I asked him if I could buy the one thing I really wanted.

As excited as I was about my purchase, when my birthday rolled around, I had no presents to open. Because I’ve always loved surprises and presents, truly being okay without any on my birthday is a gift from God. He has so thoroughly changed my attitude about what I should and should not expect from life.

What does God want for me on my birthday?

When I look at the entirety of His word, I see that God wants us, in humility, to recognize our place in His world and rejoice in it. We are but a breath sustained by God’s will.

Job 33:4 NASB  “The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.

I need to be grateful for every day of life I have. I can’t add a single hour by worrying about it, but I can ruin the hours I have. Choosing to be present and intentionally seeking God can make the hours I have more precious.

I can't add an hour to my life by worrying about the future, but I can ruin the hours I have. Be grateful. Be present. Seek God with each breath. Click To Tweet

Being the best birthday gift this year meant ditching the expectations and refocusing my priorities.

Many of Jesus’s teachings flipped the common expectations of the time period upside down. He taught the first shall be last, the meek will inherit the earth. His teachings were radical, which made me consider how flipping my expectations could demonstrate a love for Christ.

I thought about my life in context of being a blessing to those around me instead of expecting others to bless me.

How does being the best birthday gift work in practical terms?

First, be a better wife.

I asked my husband to answer one question for me on my birthday, “How can I be a better gift to you this year?” My question so surprised him he didn’t have an answer for me.

So, I told him that my goal was to be a better wife to him this year, and that I was open to seeking more ways to to love him and support him. And I actively started looking for ways to serve him better or have a better attitude about it when I am serving him.

Nothing says I love you like grumbling over folding laundry or washing dishes, right?

While God has grown in me a heart that seeks to serve more often, I still sometimes struggle inside my heart and head with serving as joyfully as I could. So, I am seeking a softened heart towards my husband, a heart that seeks to respect him and honor him in our marriage.

Secondly, I looked for ways to be a better friend to the people in my life.

I can’t expect friends to show up for my life in ways that I do not show up in theirs.

I’ve been much more intentional about staying in touch with long distance friends, which in this military life, is most of them. I am loving the Marco Polo app which allows me to send short video messages to a friend who then watches it and responds at her convenience. It’s seriously my new favorite app.

I use it to keep in touch with young wives I mentor, friends, and family. I’ve even thought about using it to keep in touch with my husband throughout the day because he works nights now and we rarely see him.

I’m being more intentional about checking in on people, praying for them, asking about the issues I know they had going on last time we talked, and listening with my whole brain.

The truth about multi-tasking is you really can’t listen well to someone and do much else. You have to actively listen to someone to truly be present in the conversation, to give good advice, to offer true sympathy.

Lastly, what areas of my spiritual walk need some work?

Am I doing enough for God’s kingdom?

I don’t need to be any more busy, but there is being about my Father’s work, and just being busy. The difference is knowing what are the real priorities He has for me today or this year and making those the priorities, no matter what my human nature might desire.

I would love to finish one of the books I’m writing. I would love to see this blog be more successful.

But I really want to be the mama my daughter needs as we struggle to figure out what makes her tick educationally and raise her to be a mighty woman of God. Of all the roles in my life, this is the most crucial.

The internet is full of wise women of God who can direct a Bible study or speak to huge crowds.

Those things may not be God’s calling on my life right now. And I don’t have to be those things to change the world one person at a time.

And I’m starting with the little girl in front of me, the husband (rarely) sleeping next to me, the friend texting me.

Because the best birthday gift I got this year is another year to keep walking with Jesus. I love seeing how He is growing me.