Marriage
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Being Boldly Submissive in a Culture Scared to Submit
Submissive is dirty word in a culture that is scared to submit. We clamor and chest thump about individuality, celebrate rebels and sarcasm, but we’re really scared of giving up the illusion of control. We aren’t willing to let go of what we think we need. Submission . . . . Women cringe as soon as pastors dust off this rusty gem from the sermon library. Submissive is the modern church’s dirty word. Just the idea of ‘obey’ in the marriage ceremony gets under our tissue paper skin like a splinter. But nothing has made a bigger difference in my marriage than learning to be boldly submissive, and I’ve never been…
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What to do When People Disappoint
When people disappoint, it’s shocking. We know in our heads that people will disappoint us, but we can be so surprised when we are standing in that place because our hearts didn’t really believe it. Sometimes, like over the past few weeks, some of the people who have disappointed us weren’t even in our lives except through our television or politics, but when someone we respected or even idolized turns out to be merely human, we feel deeply disappointed. But when it’s personal, oh, that moment is so crushing-staring in the face of incontrovertible evidence that someone you love fell short today. We feel betrayed. Our picture of that person is…
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How to Save your Marriage When War Comes Home
When a soldier comes home, War comes home, too. When my husband came home last time, it was our hardest yet. He came home to a stressed-out wife starting her next school year and a toddler daughter he barely knew. Reintegration was going to be tougher than it had ever been on top of the extreme stress of cumulative deployments. Reintegration means readjusting, remembering things we took for granted: Where is my place? What is my role? How do we do this together? For me, a small positive of deployments is getting to organize my house to my little OCD heart’s content. I get to color code and label. And…
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Divorce him for the Dishes by the Sink?
Divorce? He leaves dishes by the sink occasionally. Sometimes, he doesn’t pick up his dirty underwear and believes dusting is a waste of time. He rolls his eyes when I disinfect the kitchen. He gives it a lick and a polish when I would use bleach and a flamethrower. And my personal pet peeve – If I give him a ‘to do’ list, my husband will find the one thing he’s been meaning to do that is NOT on my list, and do that. These things can drive me crazy or hurt my feelings. Sometimes, I feel disrespected and ignored . . . but divorce him? Not even kind of.…
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Bloom in Any Season
Last Sunday, I held this beautiful rose in my hand as it bloomed defiantly in November. I heard God’s quiet whisper, “Even this rose can bloom in any season.” What wonderful encouragement! I have been truly relying on God during this difficult season in the Army, tired but coping. And isn’t that when the bottom falls out? the minute we think we have it all together? the minute we try to do it ourselves . . . God was encouraging me after the month we’ve had. My husband has been gone 18 hour days, 6-7 days a week, most Army related but some hunting, and selfishly, I get tired of…
