Christian Encouragement for New Moms

I’d love to share some encouragement for new moms that I’ve learned along the way because we all feel a little alone as moms sometimes.

Motherhood can be overwhelming and isolating. But we don’t have to feel like we’re the only ones in our situation.

We’re not all in the same boat, but we’re all in the same storm.

I’ve heard that said many times about the current virus situation, but it’s so true about parenting.

And I want you to know you’re not alone.

My biggest encouragement for new moms is that no one is totally prepared for parenting.

You’re not doing it wrong (at least not any more than anyone else!). No one is completely ready for this.

Waiting more than a decade to be a mother, I studied child development and read What to Expect the First Year (since we were adopting) and a plethora of parenting books. I had helped raised stepchildren.

But nothing prepared me for what the 24/7ness of motherhood would really be like.

I wasn’t fully prepared for the joys or the struggles. Nothing prepared me for how hard parenting/working/living with sleep deprivation would be.

Nor can your imagination quite conjure the emotions you’ll feel the first time you hear Mom. I still can’t quite wrap my head around how much I love this little person.

No amount of talking to friends, reading blogs, researching parenting sites fully prepared me to be this child’s mom.

Have you ever described an amazing meal in painstaking detail to a friend? No matter how detailed your description, your friend still didn’t have the exact experience you did. And when she went to the restaurant to try the same dish, an ingredient might have been added, a different chef might have made the sauce, or the chicken stayed on the heat too long. It’s not quite the same.

Parenting is a little like that. You have to experience it for yourself because becoming a parent is a new experience unique to each child and parent.

Being a first time mom is scary, exciting, and overwhelming for everyone.

You can’t be fully prepared. And that’s okay.

Some encouragement for new moms is that we’re all learning as we go!

We all wind up surprised by something in parenting. Sometimes it’s the funny things like how early you have to have a talk with your children about staying dressed in the living room picture window or having to break up an argument over whose pretend super powers are better.

But sometimes it’s the awful stuff like how hard it is to have a baby in the NICU or struggling with postpartum depression.

Sometimes, the hard is just a toddler teething with molars; a four year old who still needs to get potty trained; a ten year old who has learned to talk back; a teenager in the throes of puberty.

I found that as soon as I had a handle on each new stage, she grew and changed again!

Being surprised and a little unprepared is normal.

The best encouragement for new moms is to remember God is not surprised.

He walks with you through it all. Lean on Him when the surprises shake you to the core. His wisdom and peace are the foundation for life, and parenting.

Parenting will throw you for a loop all the time. Try to enjoy the ride, knowing that God has the final say over it all.

Every time I’m tempted to worry, I remember that God loves our children more than we do. He does not want to lose a single one.

Additionally, you’re going to make mistakes.

I was so afraid I was going to mess up my kid. And my dad, who was a family counselor assured me that I would.

I was like . . . wait, what?

Of course you’re going to screw up your child. You’re not perfect.

God is a perfect parent and look at us!

Some of your mistakes are going to hurt your child, but the good news is that those cracks are where they will need God.

The older my child gets the more I see ways I’ve failed her. I hear the harsh tone in her voice that echoes my struggles with anger and frustration.

While I do better, now that God’s been working on me for a decade, I don’t get a do-over. She has the mother who got it wrong a lot of days. I wasn’t always the peaceful parent I wanted to be.

Yet, it is in those hurt places I get to show her what it looks like to ask for forgiveness. I get to try again tomorrow. I get to demonstrate how gracious God is to forgive us and how tremendously He loves us, even when we sin.

Our brokenness is just as powerful of a bridge for our children as it is for the women in our lives. We have to lead them to God’s grace by showing how much we need it too.

And through those less than perfect moments we teach our children conflict resolution, communication, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Learning these delicate skills is vitally important for having healthy relationships as adults.

Even in our failures, God can help us use them for the good of our children.

Romans 8:28 ESV  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

If we raise our children to love God, He will use all things for their good, even our mistakes.

A Couple of Tips for Parents to Be

Let go of your expectations.

The biggest problem with having expectations is that they tend to cause us to put too much pressure on ourselves and our families.

Pinterest perfect recipes, homes, and birthday parties are not an everyday reality. Most days keeping the kids alive and fed and tackling any housework is total victory.

You might appreciate this post from Ashley at Our Faithful Home 14 Signs you’re a good mom!

So read the books. Organize your home. Decorate the nursery. Put your birth plan in the binder, but be flexible. Let go of these expectations and just be prepared to enjoy the ride for what it is.

Secondly, Love The Kids You Have.

One of the most damaging expectations is the one we place on our children. From the minute we are expecting a child, whether biological or adopted, we start to imagine who they will be.

But our kids didn’t get the memo. Turns out kids come with their own personalities! Who knew?

Of course, we know that, but we risk not seeing them for who they are when we superimpose our expectations over reality.

Personally, I didn’t think my daughter would struggle with learning disabilities or ADHD. Subconsciously, I expected her to be something of a blank slate (thanks liberal philosophy class), but she wasn’t.

From day one, she was her own person.

I can guide her and disciple her, but she is the unique person God created her to be. Even if that is completely different than I had hoped.

And you’re one of a kind too!

God gave you those unique children because of the gifts and talents He’s given you. It’s okay not to be “every”mom and just be their mom.

And often we forget that children are sinners, too. They need us to shepherd their hearts through life because they are born separated from God. We have to use the things that happen in our lives to demonstrate Christ for them, and draw them to Him.

And God knows that too!

The things I face and the way I face them is exactly how God planned my life.

Ephesians 2:10 ESV For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

God has a plan.

God knew everything that would happen in your life and in your child’s life.

If you have a child who has significant special needs or has some unique challenges that really alter your imaginary plan, you might need to grieve that loss. Sometimes letting go of the way we hoped things would be is the absolute hardest part of parenting.

But take heart, God LOVES underdogs.

Moses was a murderer who stuttered; David was an insignificant shepherd. Paul was a legalistic pharisee who persecuted Christians. And God used their weaknesses to demonstrate His power and majesty.

The exact things that make your life hard or different are the things God may be using to sanctify you and reveal His power in your life to those around you.

God’s power and glory will show up when you live surrendered to Him.

My last bit of encouragement for new moms is “this too, shall pass.”

No part of parenting lasts forever.

Each season has it’s own trials and triumphs and joys. Don’t miss them wishing for the next or last season.

If you’re in a hard stage (teething, threenager, puberty) look for the best parts. Savor the sweet moments when they come. Each part of childhood gives us new exciting ways to experience our children and new parenting challenges.

I love each new stage because of the way our relationship grows, but somehow, I thought she would be a baby so much longer.

Be in the moment as much as possible.

How to be a Godly Mother and Wife

I could write entire books on these subjects, but I’ll share a few places to start.

Being a Godly wife and mother has to start with knowing who God is. We can’t hope to imitate what we don’t know.

Even in the crushing days of parenting, find ways to be in your Bible, seeking the Lord’s wisdom.

While I love my physical Bible, using a Bible app can be much more convenient. I use a bluetooth earbud to be able to listen to my Bible while doing other things.

You might also enjoy – How to talk with your kids about Jesus (so they’ll listen!)

I did this so often that when she was about 3, she saw a woman with a bluetooth earbud while we were out one day and said, “Look, Mama, she must be listening to Jesus, too!”  Listening to Jesus makes it easier for me to enjoy household chores because my brain is engaged.

Also, quiet, one handed scrolling is much easier on a phone while nursing or rocking a baby in the middle of the night.

I’ve grown the most from reading the Bible straight through each year, without much commentary. I’ve just let the Holy Spirit instruct and guide me deeper and deeper still.

Just today, I noticed fresh the places in Isaiah that he predicts the Teacher who will show the Jews The Way they should walk. When Jesus said, “I am THE WAY, the truth, and the life,” the Jews would have known He referred to the Isaiah 35 passage.

Everyday I open His word, I am astounded at the depths I discover in the Bible.

Being in God’s word will help you see God’s will for your life and family in so many ways.

A few more encouraging Bible Verses for Parents

We all know the proverb about training a child in the way that he should go, and that is a wonderfully wise principle. But the Bible has so much wisdom that applies to our role as parents.

You might also like this post on raising kids with a fierce faith!