The nights before deployment were some of the most difficult of my married life. Every moment is full of the devastating agony of letting go. Each second is rich with longing and fear. Saying goodbye is a balancing act between saying enough and never being able to say enough. It’s the agony between he is still here and he is leaving that hangs like a sword over your head every minute. It’s trusting that God will bring him home. It’s fearing your children won’t remember their daddy if the worst happens. It’s taking a deep breath and holding it for a year. August 22, 2010, the night before his fourth…