To Homeschool or not to Homeschool
To homeschool or not to homeschool, that is the question! Whether it is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of playground bullies, or to take up workbooks against the common core and by opposing – teach common sense. Oh to wonder no more, and by making a decision, to say we end the heartache of forever scarring our children by choosing incorrectly. . .
Okay, that Hamlet allusion was probably only amusing me.
My students either loved or dreaded Shakespeare units. I always started with a Monty Python-esque British accent and Hamlet’s soliloquy, attempting to inspire them to love the bard.
As a dedicated public school teacher for 17 years, I hope my students look back and feel I was part of a good argument for sending your children to public school.
But myself, I’m not so convinced. We live in an area that has an emerging school system. Things are improving, but not quickly. When kindergarten registration rolled around, we were really on the fence about whether to homeschool or not.
Part of me felt like I would be cheating her from the childhood experience of “the first day of school”, making friends, and meeting other adults who might love and nurture her in a different way than I do.
But we struggled with the questions of whether homeschooling would be the right choice for her, and our family.
Making such a HUGE decision felt ridiculously scary the first year. I was terrified, but making a Pro/Con list really helped me to think through as many potential issues as I could and make a more informed decision.
Trying to decide if you want to homeschool? Here's our pro/con list that made our decision easier. Click To TweetPro Homeschooling
- She struggles with ADHD and anxiety. Homeschooling allows us to plan and coordinate our lessons around her needs.
- I can also teach her to deal with her attention issues in a way a classroom teacher wouldn’t be able to in a classroom with 30 other unique children.
- She can learn at her own pace, allowing for remediation or enrichment activities and additional subjects, like Spanish and art that our area school may not have.
- We can schedule piano lessons or doctor appointments during the day, leaving more time for family in the evenings and weekends.
- We can create our own calendar and schedule, which allows us to take breaks when her brothers visit, when her dad has a random day off, or when we want to travel to visit family or friends. (Going to Disney World during an off peak week was excellent!)
- We can reduce or eliminate bullying. And be more involved in helping her solve conflicts with her peers in social settings as she plays with her neighborhood friends.
- We can control her introduction to the adult subjects of the world. I don’t want to shelter her so much as mindfully guide her using our faith to give her the tools to navigate the world.
- We can help her learn to navigate social situations.
- Choosing curriculum that honors God and is academically rigorous.
- I get to watch the world unfold for her. Watching her learning to read for herself was absolutely magical. Everyday she makes a new discovery, like learning she has a super power. It’s my favorite thing about homeschooling.
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Lifepac 5-Subject Mega Kit, Grade 1 |
Con List
- She’s the center of my attention all day, every day, and might not learn some of the classroom social skills involved in dealing with lots of different types of people.
- She misses out on the good memories of making friends, giggling on the playground.
- iAs her only teacher, she may not learn to respect other authority figures.
- As her mom, our relationship is different, she pushes back at structure and discipline with me in a way she wouldn’t at school.
- I have to sit with her during every lesson right now. It is time-consuming and challenging.
- Can she learn to be independent if she spends all day with the safety net of Mom and home? Will she be too attached to me?
- Homeschooling takes priority over any employment, volunteer work, or housework.
- Will my attempts to create curriculum/lessons be successful and meaningful?
- Can we find enough ways for her to get varied social interaction?
- Will I have the patience and temperament to make homeschooling a fun adventure instead of daily drudgery?
Stepping into this new realm as a homeschooling parent was a little scary because it puts so much responsibility on my shoulders for her social and academic success.
Yet, weighing the pros/cons, we believe homeschooling has more potential benefits than drawbacks. We can mitigate some of the social drawbacks through extra-curricular activities, church, and being intentional with our activities. And nothing can replace our family relationships!
9 Comments
lucymblair
This was a great read! I’m in the same boat. Mentally, at least. My little one is still a baby, but as a massive list-maker myself I really enjoyed reading your Pro/Con list. You thought of some potential “Cons” I hadn’t yet! Keep us updated, I would love to know how this goes!
Andrea
sometimes I wish my mom had homeschooled me when I was a kid – oh well… 😀
Jennifer
I wonder who I would be if my parents had. The bullying I survived made me who I am, but lots and lots of fallout. I don’t want that for my daughter.
Cheyenne @rosevinecottagegirls.blogspot.com
My sister and I are home schooled girls. We loved it! It gave such an opportunity to LOVE learning and it is something that I will love forever. It gave us a depth of education that I have not seen in public schooled family and friends. I didn’t have any issue with learning to share, take turns, being a friend, being around others, having another adult love me, etc. We were allowed to travel, touch, see, smell, taste history and the world around us and experience those of all ages not just our own. We at three could go in a museum and have people say that we were so good and they enjoyed us. We love history and love to read. We have been able to work at our own pace where we were weak and strong and it made us well rounded. We learned hard work and to reach for our dreams and not live in a box. It has been a great experience and made us who we are today.
Jennifer
But you had each other. I struggle with my lonely only having a close relationship with only me instead of making some real friendships she can carry through her life. The rest of that is exactly why I want to homeschool.
Brittany at EquippingGodlyWomen.com
I’m a WAHM now, but I do have my teaching degree and plan to teach public school. My kids will go to private school. We do a little homeschooling in the summer, but homeschooling full time is NOT happening here.
Jennifer
It is such a commitment of my time and hers, but I think I want to at least do it for kindergarten. We can’t afford private school right now or that would be a serious contender.
Melissa
I struggle with the same cons you’ve listed above. I constantly question our decision to home educate our boys for the same reasons. But…then I see them play with other kids their age. I see them flourish when talking to other adults and older kids. I am lucky enough to have an extensive home school community where I can air frustrations and doubts.
Have you reached out to your community to see if there are others? I think it would definitely help you as you struggle. I met a woman through my MOPS group who has homeschooled all 6 of her children. She didn’t rush them, she didn’t put pressure on them to learn before they were ready.
I read this blog post today and it really spoke to me. I needed it as I still question our decision.
http://simplenourishinghome.com/the-unhurried-homeschooler/ (sorry, I’m not sure how to hyperlink to the site)
One of my favorite quotes from this post is: “Be a student of your child.”
Hopefully this helps you as you continue your journey!
One last thought, don’t worry to much about her making friends and developing her social skills. You are the model and it seems that you have a wonderful community of like-minded parents. The field trips and everyday errands will also help. She’ll learn to converse with adults and not be afraid. She’ll learn to be respectful to all by watching you, learning from you.
Yes, she’ll miss out on making friends at recess, but she’ll also miss out on the bullying. You’ll be able to explain concepts until she fully understands. You’ll be able to go off on tangents based on her interest.
From what I have read on your blog (and what I experienced in your classroom) you are doing a wonderful job and I take inspiration from your methods, activities and doubts. It makes you human. It makes you a good teacher and model for your daughter.
Hang in there and don’t be too hard on yourself. You will have doubts, probably daily like I do. It’s what makes you human. It’s what makes you a great mom and teacher.
Sorry for the length!
Jennifer
Thank you for the encouragement!