Going without complaining has been my annual November challenge the past few years. Nothing sets my heart on thankfulness more than going without complaining.
Faith based living,  Holidays

Will you take the BOLD 30 days without complaining challenge?

(Last Updated On: October 31, 2019)

30 Days Without Complaining???

Going without complaining is hard enough to do for five minutes much less 30 days, but I’ve learned that the secret to thankfulness is changing my heart from the inside out.

Every fall, near the end of October thankfulness and gratitude challenges begin to dominate social media as we start to look ahead to the Thanksgiving holiday with a sense of how greatly we have been blessed.

But after participating in several different Thankfulness/Gratitude Challenges, I noticed that being thankful in one social media post a day wasn’t the same thing as truly having an attitude of thankfulness.

Was I truly focusing on the blessings that God has given me if I spend the rest of the day with a critical spirit or a complaining heart?

Posting one #Grateful #Blessed #Thankful post a day wasn’t changing my heart.

While I like taking time to intentionally be grateful, I wanted to do more than spend five minutes considering for what I’m thankful.

Posting one #Grateful #Blessed #Thankful post a day alone wasn't really changing my heart. Click To Tweet


Being thankful comes out of a true sense of humility regarding the gifts that God has given us, which sometimes, include suffering because it is preparing us for eternal glory in Heaven.

2 Corinthians 4:17 ESV For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,

In recent years, I’ve learned a lot about different kinds of suffering: financial struggles, physical challenges, marital difficulties. And I’ve learned that being thankful in the midst of all my challenges changes how I face them. People around me see what’s happening in my heart and my life and are encouraged.

One year just as I was beginning this challenge, my friend Rebekah shared my episode of her delightful podcast about Trusting God in Adversity. What a blessing it is to know that my growing faith through tremendous challenges can encourage other Christians to count it all joy when we face trials of various kinds.

020: Trusting God in Adversity with Jennifer Defrates

I’ve been taking this Bold 30 days without complaining challenge since 2014. It has become my annual November tradition. And it is always a tremendous blessing.

Will you take the bold 30 days without complaining challenge?

If so, pledge to go 30 days, November 1-November 30, without complaining. Ask your spouse, friends, and even children to hold you accountable. My daughter is on it! She doesn’t miss much.

Do your best to seek ways to see the brighter side of all things, even if the brightest side you can find is that we can take heart that Jesus has already overcome the world and Heaven waits for us.

WHY take this challenge? 

When I cannot complain, I find ways to choose joyfulness that I might not if I weren’t taking the challenge.

Going without complaining helps me be more intentional with every word I speak. Intentionality really changes the tone of my home. In fact, doing this challenge for the last couple of years has been a tremendously helped in changing the way I speak, think, and feel in general.

God has used this challenge to convict and restore me to a gentle spirit. And, it’s been a very powerful in my family as we celebrate the harvest season and prepare our home to celebrate Christ’s birth.



So what does it look like to go without complaining?

I take it to a really extreme level. For example, I do not say things like I am hungry but that I would like to eat. By making positive statements instead of negative, I am being proactive rather than reactive.

Changing my vocabulary was only the beginning.

Focusing on not complaining makes me aware of how often the first attitude I have is negative.

One November morning, half awake, I stumbled out of my bedroom door. Looking around the disarray leftover from a busy couple of days I said, “This house is a mess.”

I quickly clamped my hand over my mouth. My husband asked me what I had said. Chagrined, I replied, “I need to straighten up today.” Shoot, I didn’t even make it to the coffeepot.

But being willing to take this challenge does not mean that you will be perfect. If you catch yourself complaining, pause, pray, and start again. The purpose of this challenge is to help you strive to be more Christ-like not just meet some artificial challenge.

And I’ve learned so much over in recent years about how going without complaining really changes me and the entire attitude of my home.

How do I even start going without complaining?

I heard a great little riddle somewhere on the interwebs last week. A woman was walking through her home when she spilled her mug. What did she spill?

Whatever was in her mug. 

So what are you putting in your mug?

What I watch on TV or read really affects my heart. If I’m filling my heart with worldly things, I can’t be surprised when worldly attitudes spill out. I need to be filling my mug with wholesome entertainment and Godly wisdom.

Fill your mug by spending time reading the Bible each day.

Not only does God’s word instruct and educate us about who God is, the Bible shows us how to glorify God with our lives. Even my daughter notices her own attitude is different when she spends time reading her Bible every morning.

Turn on Worship music and sing along!

I can’t be negative and miserable when I’m listening to beautiful music lifting up praise to God.

Spending time in worship, prayer, and reading God’s word will change the overflow of my heart so that my default emotional position becomes one of praise and thanksgiving in a powerful way.

It’s so much more than just going without complaining. It’s cultivating a changed heart that seeks the joy of glorifying God in every moment.

Can you think of a better way to begin the holiday season this year than celebrating a true heart of thankfulness, recognizing that life is difficult and challenging and yet is beautiful and wondrous gift?

Will you take the BOLD 30 days without complaining challenge?

2 Comments

  • Rachel Lee

    What a GREAT challenge!! Our change of attitude certainly does begin from the inside, and works its way out! I love that you incorporated your family to help hold you accountable. Leave it to our children to be the most honest!! 😉
    Thanks for sharing at the #destination Inspiration linkup! Happy to have you join us each Thursday!

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