How to Have a Christ-Centered Valentine’s Day

(Last Updated On: January 30, 2023)

What if we focused on having a Christ-centered Valentine’s Day this year? How could that change not only our holiday, but our relationships?

What’s wrong with Valentine’s Day now?

Maybe nothing, but it depends on your heart. I spent too many years centered on the wrong things on Valentine’s Day. I got caught up in the commercialization of this Hallmark holiday, measuring the health of my relationship too often by the size of the celebration.

It took my coming home to Christ to start to see love differently and wanting to celebrate Valentine’s Day differently.

Focusing on me created a self-centered heart. I focused too much on my being appreciated, loved, wooed. Imagining grand romantic gestures built expectations that bred disappointment.

“All about me” attitude leaves us emptier than when it found us. But Christ never does.

Which is why we should center a romantic holiday on Christ.

Only Christ’s love leaves us more than we were without it. And when we learn what real love looks like, we are changed.

The way we love others and expect to be loved changes.

So how do you have a Christ-centered Valentine’s Day?

Start by thinking about what Christ’s love looked like.

He didn’t bring people flowers and candy. There were no camel-drawn carriage rides.

Christ washed the feet of those He loved. He served, fed, taught, and ministered to those in need. And His grandest gesture of love was to die for us, for me, for you.

When I consider that as my definition of love, my perspective really shifts.

First, I KNOW how much I am loved by the Almighty Creator of the Universe. He is my portion. I don’t need external validation when I know who I am in Christ. Holidays and anniversaries don’t have to be a picture perfect expression of our romance anymore.

Instead of expecting gifts to demonstrate how much my husband loves and values me, I looked for how he loved me daily.

My husband, before his passing, spoke love through his acts of service. He worked extremely hard to provide for our family and also to care for me personally. All the times I’ve been physically recovering from surgery, he shooed me out of the kitchen so he could make dinner, wash the dishes, or finish a science lesson with our girl.

It’s okay to do something special together for Valentine’s Day, but don’t let a day define you or your relationship. Love is a heart attitude of commitment, not a fleeting gesture.

Appreciate his everyday gestures more than once a year gifts.

Secondly, seek to love like Christ.

Instead of seeking to be served, find ways to serve. Step outside of yourself and find the ways to serve your family.

As a mom, serving our family can seem like it’s all we do, but I challenge you to look for little ways to serve in love. I liked to anticipate what my husband needed and have it taken care of it before he asked, do his laundry before it’s overflowing, put his favorite candy on the shopping list. Those little acts of love can reflect Christ’s selflessness for our family. Additionally, service can help heal resentment and bitterness in marriage.

Love is a heart attitude of commitment, not a fleeting gesture. It's okay to do something special for Valentine's Day, but don't let a day define you or your relationship. Click To Tweet

If you really want to love like Christ, try reading 1 Corinthians 13 and replace LOVE with your name as you read it aloud. Jennifer is patient and kind. Jennifer is not arrogant, or irritable, or resentful, etc. Talk about convicting!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; love is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends

The way we love our family should reflect Christ’s love and demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit within us.

Show your children what Christ’s love means for Valentine’s Day. Don’t create unrealistic expectations in their hearts about romantic relationships. Teach them to look to Christ for their identity and love first.

Focus on Christ’s love in all your relationships.

Reach out to friends who might be alone or lonely. Living in a military community, we have many spouses who are oceans apart on Valentine’s Day. Share a meal. Simply not being alone can make a difference for someone lonely on Valentine’s Day. Especially look for the widows in your community. Now that I belong to that group, I am far more aware of how easily it is to be isolated and in need.

Send a card to someone who needs to hear I love you.

Plan a special meal for the senior singles at church. Senior citizens can be the forgotten demographic in our church outreaches and may feel especially left out or left behind on holidays that celebrate family and relationships if their spouses have passed and children do not live close.

If you have friends or neighbors who live far from family, offer to babysit so they can have some alone time. Be willing to celebrate differently or later so that you can care for others.

Putting others first is the best way to have a Christ-centered Valentine’s Day.

How to have a Christ-centered Valentine’s Day:

• Eliminate expectations
• Seek to love like Christ
• Serve Others
• Consider yourself last

Centering my heart on this list instead of the list of the top ten perfect Valentine’s Day gifts, will change my marriage, family, friendships, and community. Loving others like Christ is the best way we all can live everyday.